As time pass, it seems like I have forgotten about this blog.

Its been awhile.. well.. perhaps... half a year~ since I updated my blog..
I have broken up with Hermann the SORE LOSER on 3rd Oct.

It was a very sad ending, regretted it at first. But moved on quicky
'Onec a cheater, ALWAYS a CHEATER'

On 9 nov 2015, I start new relationship.
This time I was much happier (:
Being with someone I secretly watched for a long time.

I do hope... This relationship would last... till death do us part.

I wish...

I really do wish for it.. I don't ask for much.. but I hope It'll happen

-x-

This year I'll be 24 and Fyfy will be 4. Time pass real fast .. ever since I graduate from secondary school. I kinda miss those fun days.

Don't know why I wanted my secondary school days to end so quicky back then.
Rushing to be an 'adult'... But now being an adult... Wishing to be a kid again

I hope my 'moodiness' and 'mild depression' will go away.. so that my life wouldn't be so 'over thinking'

-sigh-


- C

I realize whenever I feel depress or something.. I'll end up coming back to blog and rant about it...

I went back on pills, recently ... I can't sleep well..
worried too much and everything.. oh yeah ! I passed my IPPT. now waiting for contract :D

hopefully they'll call me soon ~ v_v

that's all for now.. I wish i could stop being depress over everything so easily

Sometimes i kinda forgot that i have a blog.

Reading back my past post from Aug 2007 was awkward... I didn't know I was such an angst teenager~

Being 22 soon 23 this year, sucked ~
I'm still like ~ " How do I ADULT? "
I still need an older adult for advice,cause sometimes I cant make any decisions at all)

So much random and troubling thoughts all over~
why is life so troublesome ~

oh well~

I need to get my shits together

Last post was on March 2014
Its been superrrr long ~ I dont know? time? days? months? etc?
Since I post something ~~

So many things happened~
and I don't know where to start~

Currently I have been trying my best to train for my Napfa Test
Not going well.. Been failing my 2.4 run so badly..
I felt so useless and miserable~

-x-

I guess the only thing I can do is to whine here ~ on my Blog
That's the only thing that can make me 'feel better'.

-x-

no matter what relationship I'm in
It's always money issue, frankly speaking.. I hate this..

I feel that I'm better off being single than in a relationship..
I feel that I can't do 'better' when I'm in a relationship..
its like a burden to me, from the start I was never a 'considerate person'..
I hate being 'considerate' and I feel damn tired whenever I'm with the other.

I feel 'happy' being alone
I feel 'charged up' being alone
I feel 'more motivated in doing things'

I just enjoy being alone, I don't have to worry so much
Its always money issues.. I don't have money all the time..
When I was single, I was able to SAVE up a lot of money...
Like  a 50 Dollar pocket money a week, I could save 30.. now being in a relationship
I COULDN'T SAVE A SINGLE CENT. Its like we keep going out..
and I'm spending my OWN money. like everything is on DUTCH
We keep going OUT. I FUCKING HATE GOING OUT.
FUCKING WASTE OF MONEY
I RATHER STAY AT HOME AND WATCH SHOWS OR PLAY GAMES

Back then, Saving money was easy. everytime when I have enough.
I'll buy something I want, things that maybe my parents won't buy for me.

From today onwards, I'll only GO out WHEN I HAVE ENOUGH MONEY.
NO MONEY
NO OUTING
END OF STORY

-x-

I'm tired :(
I'm really fat and tired..
right now I have to pass my napfa test in order to join the Navy
I tried my best.. I really did.. next week.. I hope I can make..
I feel super miserable.. Like really.. starting half of the year wasn't so bad
Now its like BAD to WORST.

I have so much problems in life
That sometimes money can solve 70% of it..

End of the day, I'm just a materialistic girl. :)
All I can care about is being HAPPY for myself.
Just like how I take care of my furryson
FOR MY OWN SAKE OF HAPPINESS, I MAKE FYFY HAPPY..

I'm the worst kind of human being. EVER
Doing nothing and whining all day is what I DO BEST. :)
That's my ONLY TALENT

*sigh*

-x-

AND FUCK MY LIFE
Dreamt about my ex bf last night. SO HORRIBLE.
end up 'talking' to him about 'life'
damn dream.. why can't you fucking DROWN him or KILL HIM
THAT WOULD BE A NICE ENDING than talking about what's happening in life

Never wanna see that fucker again. piece of shit that stole my DS ,
act like a victim and cheats in a relationship.fucking crybaby!
DISGUSTING SHIT, I Hope you fail badly in your 'photography'

Fun fact : Horribly taken photos, "Claim" to be a 'better photographer' but skills like a kid with a camera

-x-

YAY ! DONE WHINING, FEELINGS BETTER NOW :)
WHAT A BITCH I AM :)

Notice some changes in friends that i wasn't close with.
the only thing i can say is
' An enemy is one that is happy when you're miserable '
' Be happy, because enemies hate seeing you happy'

so yeah, I'm happy (:
with current boyfriend,simple and easy.  no problem at all (maybe snoring problem)
hopefully i'll get used to it :D
One happy family with my furry son fyfy ♥

and yeah... I miss my bf... bf oversea.. DAMN

-x-

I just reread some post.. oh gawd wai
much embarrassing .. oh well ...
all in the past

not sure if i should show my bf this blog :|
SHY DIE ME

its been awhile since i last blogged
life is great ! happy with my current boyfriend.
everyday is a bliss to me, its really too long. that one year plus with my ex was tiring
oh well, good riddance.

currently waiting for poly/ite dilpoma. hopefully i can get in any of them
this is the first time i actual love someone without having doubts.
such peace. much enjoy :D

that's all i have to write.

6 jan 14(monday)
♥ made his way to my house early in the morning
I'm truly amaze he can remember how to come over all by himself after sending me home
He didn't even ask for direction and he appeared at my doorstep at 10am+

Spend some quality time with him, cuddled, chit chat and pat Garfy :3
FINALLY FYFY HAVE A PROPER DAD -_-

Thinking of what Shaun post on Christmas that day.. speechless
If you can blame Garfy for being the source of problem. I suggest you don't get a cat...
ITS A TORTURE FOR THE POOR KITTY IF YOU DON'T LOVE IT
Pity your mom.. if you get it and she have to clean the mess and take care of it..

In the afternoon,baby and I went to nex for movieeeeee
On the way there, I think i spotted Sharlene ._.""
not sure if its her or not. Look like her anyway ~~

Dinner mom cooked :D
another amaze part ! baby can eat a lot :X
didnt expect that ! for someone as slim as him to eat so much !!
SUCH NOMZ , MUCH TANK LOL ! -random-

7 Jan 14
Nua the whole day ! played pserver maple and finally for once
I DECIDED TO QUIT RO2 ! PACKED MY STUFF AND ETC
GONNA SELL 'EM ALL !
pass some stuff to Dash,Maje & Khron !
totally.. no feelings at all..
usually I can't bare to part with a game(that I used to love so much)
Guess I outgrown it :D oh well !

Enjoy 2014 ! -happy-

♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥

2014 is indeed a great year ;D !
Its just the starting only, I'm feeling all great and happy :D
more happy and active in fact !

yesterday went out with hermann,mh,mw & p.c
K-box :D ! after that garena stadium
oh gawd wai ! we cant exchange role.
pc : carry
mh : mid
mw : jungle
me : top
hermann : support

 GG LOL ! lose so badly ~!
last round exchange back to original roles :D

DINNER TONKOTSU KING : FOUR SEASON RAMENNNNN !
awesome max ! :D
super great day !

happy level : max

today was another great day ;D
sent bro's gf an old pic of him LOLLLL !
priceless shit :X !

WORTH IT !
THE MINUTE I HEAR MY BROTHER SHOUT
CELYN ANG ! WHAT HAVE U DONE
HAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAH !!
epic max :B !!

oh well :X !

WOOOOO 2014

last day of 2013, spend it with Hermann, Min han and P.C
we stayed over at Hermann's place :D
play all sort of card games and pokers
chit chats :D
So many secrets expose :D
indeed no shaun = no problem

first day of 2014
FAT DIE US
the 4 of us(herman,mh and pc) ate kfc for dinner
we kinda over slept :X
they bought stuff for fyfy ! -super happy-

-x-

2nd day of 2014 !! happy :D
its been a long time i actually felt so happy
and I'm laughing so hard in fact !

THAT MOMENT WHEN a friend of shaun facebook message me saying
'shaun failed to date  momiji(or something) now dating another girl'
HAHAAHHAHA SO DESPERATE

fail 1 still got back up plan ! too damn funny please :x
THANK GOODNESS YOU'RE GONE
THE GUILTY FEELING IN ME IS GONE TOO !
SO IRONY ! saying stuff like
'I don't like liars' 'I dont cheat' blah blah blah whatever.

I'm truely happy now ! no regrets that you're gone
in fact you embarrass me whenever we visit any side of my families.
now that you're gone, i finally can be a kid with my mom's side cousins again!
I dont have to feel bad cause you're not enjoying your time with us :D

oh yes shaun, if you happen to find my blog(this blog)
CONGRATS ! Because of you I didn't have much to whine and complain about
because I'M TOO EMBARRASS TO DO SO
not much post here from the year 2013
I WAS SAD AND DEPRESS FOR THAT 2013 YEAR
while you whine over ' my gf doesn't want to be part of my life'

yeah yeah, whatever ~ you cared about yourself only anyway :D
and your 'how i feel' etc shit
2012 that year was great being together
the 1 that truly change is you :D
and please don't tell your current gf about
'how you wanna get married and etc'
dont give people empty promises
and dont bullshit around telling other people
'you wanna marry her if she's still with you during the NS period'
TOO CHEESY,GROSS AND EMBARRASSINGGGGGGbecause you're the PROBLEM, that's why your second/third(me) ex gf LEFT YOU , YOUR FIRST GF YOU SAID SHE WAS CHILDISH(JANE)
thats why you left her(not sure if she left your ass/you leave her or so you said)

Frankly speaking, I kinda lied when we were together
I didnt really have feelings for you. Just wanted to try out only
I cried cause your ego level was too high and it hurts my feelings
whenever you behave like shit at a family reunion.

my mother & brother didn't like you from the start anyway
only my father was okay with it

OPPSSS EXPOSE :D ! ohohohohohohoho ! -lame me-

Jane & Bao Xian
I hope you guys are happy with your current boyfriends :D
last long long K !

call this an ex gf semi disgusted/whiny rant and super happy post :D !!
HAPPY ! FINALLY CAN SAVE MORE POCKET MONEY !
WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO !!

LONG LIVE NO LIFE QUEEN ! -ME-

24 dec

Went out with my ro2 friends for
Lunch(bbq at rockU)
Movie(Police story)
Dinner(mcd)

it was an awesome day !
first time in my life having just MEAT ONLY for lunch
the whole bbq was just eating of beef,chicken & pork

WORTH IT

seriously I don't know how come i manage to save money to go out
usually I dont have enough

In a relationship = no money
Single = GOT MONEY

WTF? OH WELL :D !

25 dec
FAMILY TIME ! CHRISTMAS !
YAY ! BACK TO THE OLD TIMES
PLAYING LIKE A LITTLE KID !

Played injustice with kenji,absalom & solomon
pot luck !

awesome amount of presents !
wooooo !

played poker with uncle gary's children too
drink a little wine with parents & relative !

26 dec
downloaded extalia ms
played with herman :D

andy joined LoL ^^
whole day playing MS & LoL

27 dec (today)
slacking around with fyfy

-x-

Its been 20 days since the break up
Friends asked me if I'm okay

I'm totally fine, I feel no different in fact
Its just that i feel angry at some part.
Then again, The whole relationship holds no impact

All my friends have returned.
Ugly truth came out.
At first it was kinda hard to accept those ugly truth from them
But when I start thinking about it, I began to understand why they went away..

MANY ridiculous answer came out
end of the day

I'M GLAD ITS OVER !
It was a bitter sweet experience
Thank you for that

I learned not to depend on others anymore
I came with nothing
And shall start my journey all over again

Trust no one but myself.

Its disgusting to know how your ex boyfriend like another girl
when that 'period' of time you're still with him.
So disgusting to know how they can lie through their teeth
and saying stuff like 'I love you' 'I miss you' 
'I hope we'll still be together when I'm in NS'
'We'll get buy a house together when I'm out of NS'

Worst to worst hugs & kisses you like nothing happen
Empty promises

How can anyone be so unfaithful?
It disgust me to the max

I asked myself.
Why did I stay so faithful with a person like him?
If I knew this was happening, I wouldn't date him at all.
Cause I realize HE was the kind that fall in LOVE so easily.





WHY DIDN'T I NOTICE THAT WHEN HE SAID HE TRIED TO WOO
GIRL 1-2-3-4 BEFORE WE DATED

OH GAWD WAI

I hope I'll never cross path with you again
Your 'Character' in my 'Life Story' has ended
Please don't appear in my 'Story book' ever again.
As a friend, I think you're the worst kind.
You treat your friends like 'friends for benefit'
Friend with no value = Ignored

seriously... DUA ZHENG

It was a good thing everything ended already
I was right all along.
from the start to the end
NEVER TRUST ANYONE BUT YOURSELF

This is a lesson I'll remember

-Never try to fit into something that doesn't come in naturally
even with if you tried, people still don't accept you
and yeah ~ I'm the kind that gives up IF things doesn't work out .
plus It's not my interest

-NEVER LEND/LEAVE THINGS THERE
YES I'll make sure I'll never LEAVE stuff with a Boyfriend(IF I EVER DATE AGAIN)
CAUSE THEY WON'T FUCKING RETURN & THEY FUCKING IGNORE YOU

-MAKE SURE THEY DON'T MAKE PROMISES THEY CAN'T KEEP
I'll make sure they don't say shits like
'Getting married and start a family'
This kind of super far away shit. MAKES THE WORST EMPTY PROMISE

and OH how I WISH I go could go JAPAN
TO RIP OUT THAT DISGUSTING MESSAGE HE LEFT THERE

SAYING THE LOVE OF HIS LIFE
AND HAPPY ENDING WITH ME

CHEESIEST SHIT

Yes I'm Ragging like a Ragging NERD :D

K THX BAI

End

Its been so really damn long since I did a post.
an almost abandon blog...

2013
was a great year at the start, but it kinda turn sour around the quarter of the year
failed my engineering exam. retake and didn't score well
might not even go poly anymore.

broke up with boyfriend on 7th dec'13
on some days it felt like nothing happened(its like no impact in life)
part of me didn't give a damn and yet somewhere inside my heart said
it hurts

nothing else. it just hurts  ~ like that

its not a feeling that one could die from
but just an uncomfortable feeling inside my heart
its feels like something is squeezing my heart and the feeling of fear together
not sure if there is a term to call this 'hurt' feeling

but really.. why am i so pathetic ?
i hope 2014 will be a good year (:
i don't think its worth ending my life either

cause I'm an OTAKU :D
i'll always look forward for weekly anime/manga release
and year end youtube rewinds and etc !

wooooooo~ ! 
I hope i'll forget about this relationship
not a single memory left would be better
so i wont be butt hurt like an idiot LOL

2014
I SHALL NOT BE WEAK AGAIN !
LIVE LIFE AS I WISH !
FIGHTOOOOOOO

2013 ! day 7
Back to school Day 1

Right now its 5 in the morning !
and I can't sleep ! in few hours time I'm gonna be a zombie in school

Bad new for myself !
I FORGOTTEN EVERYTHING !
AWESOME RIGHT? FUCK YOU CELYN

Been so crazy over LoL ._.
Oh well ! I still love support roles :D !

This year is gonna be a 'I'LL FREAKING GO BROKE YEAR'
thanks to the amount of friends that is turning to 21 ):
seriously FUCK YOU ! I wish i could skip 2013 T___T

YOU BELONG TO A MUSEUM ! *random Ezreal quote*
LOL :D

Seriously ! I can't sleep ): and I'm really bored to death !
Should i play RO2 ): Yes No Yes NO YES NO YES I DON'T KNOW

See how ! so lazy =_=
Final year is here woohoo ! Hopefully i'll make it to Poly


GOOD LUCK BITCH :D k time to watch random videos

Cool it's been dinosaur months since i post something,
life is currently good i guess?

if only a certain amount of people have a neutral feeling than dislike/hate
life would be even better ! but sadly that's just a wishful thinking.. as there are brats
or i should say ignorant brats out there. life would be even better if they are dead -.-










especially this girl with a weird morals.....

but still, life goes on ....







I'm tired ): like really tired
i'm not doing well in anything...
-sigh-

hopefully things will get better soon..