I feel so down recently,emotionally & physically.
I feel tired,troubled & sick
I feel that there is a monster inside of me eating up all my confidents and filling me with doubts.
I feel that I'm gaining weight instead of losing weight.
I feel fat when I'm with my female friends, they always look so much slimmer than I am.
I feel ugly
I feel disgusted at myself.
I feel that I degrading myself everyday with negative thoughts.
I feel that I cannot reach up to expectations.
I feel stressed out at some stuff.
I feel that i could secretly cry like a loser everyday, but my pride won't let me.
I feel that whatever I do is a waste of time, sometimes it doesn't matter anymore

I tried saving money, but it didn't work out well.
I tried changing for the better, but the lazy part of me always gets in the way.
I tried keeping long hair, end of the day I'll cut it short..

I get jealous easily at stuff that I don't have.
I get angry easily, but I don't say it out.
I get hungry easily, I tired my best not to eat just to slim down.
I get bored easily..

so bored ~

BLOODY HELL I NEED MONEY =3=''